And … cut!
10 things you should Marie Kondo from your life. And our how-tos.
Marie Kondo taught us to let go of anything that doesn’t spark joy. And boom, a tsunami of stuff flooded into Goodwills and consignment stores all over the country. But what about the non- “things” that deserve to get the Kondo kibosh? We’ve extended the concept to some of the less tangibles — and found even more joy ensues.
Friends who are hard on you all the time. I’m not tallking about your tried and true friends who give you the tough love you need once in a while. I’m talking about friends who regularly criticize, judge (overtly or underhandedly), or who otherwise make you feel less-than. Friends aren’t family, and these relationships aren’t unconditional. They’re supposed to be additive. Say “The way you’re talking to me now doesn’t feel good. I don’t want this in our friendship.” If there’s no sign of improvement, you’ve already said enough, and you don’t need to make plans or spend more time on this person. Ignore. (Does that sound harsh? So is judging our friends.)
Judgement. And heal thyself, too. There’s no bigger suck of your time and energy than time spent judging others for their choices, friends or strangers. If your brain starts heading in that direction, force yourself to instead ask, “Why do I care?”
Jobs that make you dread Monday. If you’re staying up later and later on Sunday to avoid starting the work week, it’s a sign. I’ve stayed in jobs past their prime, and it was such a relief to move on. In the moment it feels impossible and dramatic, but I’m here to tell you that life’s too short to live for Fridays. Rip off the band aid. Save money, start taking people out to lunch to build your networks, get active on LinkedIn if you aren’t already, and set an exit date in your mind.
Clients or customers who bully you. The customer is always right is definitely a thing. Except for the always part. We’re people. And we all have the right to be treated humanely. That means no screaming, no lying, no blaming, no name calling, no drama. If it’s not ok in pre-school, even a client/customer doesn’t get to do it.
Toxic team members. A number of clients I’ve consulted with start off by saying “I’ve been thinking about letting X go.” I always wonder — what’s stopping you? If someone isn’t pulling their weight, if they’re toxic, chances are the whole team is feeling it. The longer it lingers, the more infectious it can be. And getting let go may actually be a deep breath for this person. We often provide coverage in this situation while a search is undertaken, and I’m amazed at the impact a team feels to have fresh perspective.
Words. With a background in copy, you’d think I love words, and I do. But fewer words. Too often we want every single message in one communication. But then there can’t be a hierarchy. Writers need to kill even the phrases they love. And as a client, be willing to prioritize, or at the very least, to test.
TV shows you’re watching and books you’re reading just because you started them. Knee deep into The Bachelor when you realize it’s time you’re never.getting.back.? Let it go. Seriously. You’ll find out who won on E. But time spent on “fun stuff” is time you’re not being productive, so if it stops being fun, say goodbye instead of wasting more time because you’ve come this far. Also, you don’t need to finish a book you hate just because everybody loves it. Dump that thing like a bad habit and move on to something you look forward to reading!
Second guessing yourself. You made the best decision you could with the information in front of you at the time. You have to let it go now. Stop going over and over it in your mind. Stop going over it with friends, which only makes you dwell on it longer. If you go there, tell yourself: “I did the best I could. I learned something. Now I’m going to think about how to move forward.”
The fantasy life that makes you feel like you failed. You were going to bake bread. You were going to play tennis. You were going to start taking pictures. Now the stuff lurks around your space, reminding you that you never did these things. So you never did these things. So what! You did other things. Give yourself a break. Clear the space out mentally and physically (here’s where you can send the things) for the future and newer possibilities. Don’t worry, if one day you do take up tennis what you had will be outdated anyway.
Complaining. And complainers. I once had a friend who complained about her (mentally abusive) boyfriend all the time. She’d ask for advice; I’d spend hours counseling her, she’d end it, then she’d go back to him, and the cycle would repeat. I just couldn’t stay friends with her. It was too draining, and it took up the entirety of our friendship. If you’re complaining about something constantly, it’s a sign you need to do something about it. Or just suck up the fact that you’ve decided not to or can’t. But no one can take constant complaining without action. And when you’re complaining all the time, it feels like a release, but that’s a mirage. In fact just hearing yourself say it over and over makes you feel worse. (Trust me.)
We’d love to hear what you’re cutting from your life, here or on insta (@honorcodecreative).