Say What You Mean

Written By Rachel Solomon

Words, their meaning, and the message they convey are both critical in our community and a critical part of what we do at HCC. And so we go.

“The words you say and the words you don’t say. Both have power.”

We became abundantly aware of this after taking time to mute and listen. There’s a lot to be said for listening and we’re taking a cue from Maya Angelou who said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."

Here’s what we know so far when it comes to the language of race:

  1. Why getting the words right matters (and can’t our heart just be in the right place?)

Our research led us to this: “It is a euphemistic linguistic model that intends to center humanity separate from situation or identity, and it is a model that creates new terms that are supposed to, as John McWhorter wrote for Slate in 2016, ‘rise above pejorative connotations that society has linked to the thing in question.’” In other words language has an important role in unlinking long-held assumptions.

Another thing we learned is that it’s about impact, not intent. And while we may be attempting to be inclusive when it comes to some shorthand terms, our impact is that we are actually generalizing anyone non-white thereby not celebrating exclusivity when and where it matters. In this case, less is not more.

The reality is that white privilege, however overt or covert, is the root of our society and also our language. The problem with this is that it has become the norm to identify people as white and non-white with broad terminology that disregards ethnicity and heritage. But what do we mean and how do you keep up with terms that seem to be ever-changing? 

We have a collective responsibility to write what comes next with accuracy and authenticity and that starts with saying what we mean, taking the risk that we will sometimes get it wrong and apologizing when we do and doing better the next time.

(2) It starts by simply listening. 

When we tune into what people are saying and engage in active listening (which means not listening for the purpose of preparing an immediate response), we can absorb more information and take appropriate, well-informed and deliberate action as opposed to our regular knee-jerk reactions. From the Annie E. Casey Foundation we learned, “Active listening involves paying full and careful attention to the other person, looking [them] in the eye, avoiding interruptions, reflecting your understanding, clarifying information, summarizing the other person’s perspectives and sharing your own.”  You’re going to make mistakes because being perfect is not the point, unlearning problematic things takes time and loosening our ego in the name of being a better friend and human is what this moment calls for.  

(3) when identifying race Its biggest success story (in terms of a phrase that was called for and has taken hold) might be the phrase people of color.” (Slate.com, 2/13/19) What we know now, just a year since this story by black Slate staff writer Rachelle Hampton ran, is that this generalization actually strips the focus of its identity. 

In short, when we say BIPOC (the newest term for black, indigenous and people of color) we really ought to just identify which groups we are specifically talking about, thereby giving them credit for their specific perspective. 

From The BIPOC Project, “We use the term BIPOC to highlight the unique relationship to whiteness that Indigenous and Black (African Americans) people have, which shapes the experiences of and relationship to white supremacy for all people of color within a U.S. context.” We unapologetically focus on and center relationships among BIPOC folks. Another way to think about this is in challenging the term “African-American” because unless you would categorize a white person as being “European American,” simply assuming the ethnicity and/ or heritage with which someone primarily identifies misses the mark of identifying them at all in the first place.

(4) other areas where we might get the words bungled We know we won’t get it right all the time but here’s where we might have the opportunity to be proactive about the words we say:

  • Treating George Floyd’s death as the reason for the movement. While the circumstances surrounding George Floyd’s murder have certainly been impactful in the Black Lives Matter movement, it would be wrong to state that his death is the reason for the revolution now. His story is tragic but not unique except for the fact that this time a camera was on. Which brings us to our next point…

  • Say their names. Trayvon Martin. Dontre Hamilton. John Crawford III. Michael Brown. Eric Garner. And the countless others whose lives have been taken as a result of discrimination and did not make the news. Each life mattered and is reason enough to fight for justice. As often as possible, say their names.

  • This isn’t a “new problem.“ The trauma of being a black person in American goes back for generations. And for indigenous people, even further. Whether intentional or not, white privilege is as part of America’s history as Columbus claiming land that “belonged” to those that came, settled and built civilizations long before him. To acknowledge that history of entitlement is the first step in recognizing how much work we have to do.

  • Other things:

    • “I know how you feel.”: Put simply, unless you have the same heritage, you actually don’t. This goes back to intent versus impact and while your efforts may be pure, likening the trauma of being black in America is not, and never will be, like anything else.

    • Use of the words “urban”, “inner city” or “minority.” These are all examples of avoiding what we really mean, and often the connotation behind what we’re trying to say. If you’re replacing the word “black” with “urban,” to make a generalization about a specific group of people, now might be a good time to take a look at the prejudices and biases you hold and an opportunity to reflect instead of speak.

    • While we’re at it, about your “girlboss tribe”... We’re going to go out on a limb here and guess that no one in your networking group has similar, legally-recognized tribal affiliation so scratch calling yourself a “tribe.” Using terminology that derives from other cultures while appropriating the meaning and significance is just that, appropriation. And it’s not cute.

Feeling overwhelmed by all the work you need to do to get it right? Good. That’s the homework of being an ally. Which, by the way, is a verb not a noun, in the sense that it takes constant, active work. And it doesn’t have a due date, you’re in it for life. After you’ve listened to friends, family, co-workers and complete strangers you learn from on the internet about what you need to do to support them, positioning yourself as an ally by understanding your privilege, doing your homework and speaking up (not over) are the next few ways you can be an active participant in effecting change at the micro level. Show up, listen, do the work, we’re in this together.

Want more tips? Rachel Cargle’s free 30 day course “ Do The Work” is available for anyone here.

Always learning.

And thank you to Amanda Goedde for the quote that inspires this call-to-action in doing the work.

Reading List:

Rachel Cargle’s recommended list of resources: https://linktr.ee/1thatgotawayy

Rachel Solomon
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