Brand DNA x Illustration
When we talk about Brand DNA, we’re talking about making your brand stand out in a way that creates true loyalty, shareability, and emotion. Brands need clarity, distinction, & authenticity. It’s so easy to get confused by branding. To immediately click away.
Out of all the someone can choose from, your needs enough firepower
to stand out.
Your brand is more than just what people see when they search you. It’s a visual and voice identity that resonates deeply with your market. One you carefully develop and then steward across every single channel. One that resonates with customers, makes them care about the product, and are motivated by the branding. It’s got a certain magic.
Illustration can be a really powerful addition to your Brand DNA. Having a visual language enables you to inject new creative thinking, and stronger brand alignment/presence in your creative. Once you’ve established an illustration style for your brand, it's easy for you to expand your illustration library.
We spoke to two of our talented creatives about their work establishing illustrations to enhance clients branding.
Lily Xiao
Illustrator, Lily Xiao, developed her unique Illustration style through failure—yes, this sounds harsh but it's true! She says that art making is so expressive and personal to her. Her style has developed after much reflection on what she is attracted to, why she is attracted to it, and is heavily influenced by elements of nostalgia. Summer days by the pool, trampolines, rollerblades, and beach bonfires. Early 2000’s anime & Sunday morning cartoons.
One really unique project that Lily worked on with us is a series of Instagram stickers for our client ASICS. Her approach to the project? Just as mental as it was physical. She said, “Once I had the vision in my head and discussed it with the team, I didn’t let doubt creep in—even though it was there. My creative director, Kacie McLean along with Susanne and Rachel displayed a lot of trust in my abilities which bolstered my confidence. They're definitely the ‘dream team’ you want guiding you on one of your first big freelance jobs.”
For hands-on prep, Lily came up with the concepts first and discussed what emotions and messages we wanted to convey. ASICS interviewed a handful of inspiring runners and gave us their stories to base the art on. Then, she planned out how to translate those feelings into motion graphics using design, colors, and animation.
Stickers are playful and add a little whimsy. In the digital world, they’re similar to emojis, conveying feelings and emotions in place of words. In a way, stickers have evolved to add to our roster of communication.
In today's digital landscape, brands will find a lot of value in offering their customers custom illustration and sticker packs. Stickers offer a chance for your customer to express themselves by saying “I like x, y, z and therefore I’m x, y, z type of person.” They’re interactive, engaging, and fun. Visually, digital stickers add to a company's overall look and style. Most importantly, they help connect customers emotionally to a brand.
Paul Johnson
Creative Director, Paul Johnson, worked with HCC client, Tivity Health to freshen up their flyers and social posts for their partnership with Blue Cross and Blue Shield. He created new light, hand drawn visuals of people working out as an engaging visual treatment to bring a human connection to the work. The beauty of line art is that we can all see ourselves as this figure, whereas using photography of an actual person can sometimes not allow the viewer to identify quite as strongly. By bringing in the Tivity brand colors into the design and creating a system around we dramatically increased the Tivity brand in all of the creative.
Are You Stuck in the Weeds?
Brands are taking too long to make decisions. And everyone’s suffering.
On the job front, creatives interviewing are waiting forever for decisions - it’s disheartening, and also, the hiring process is also PART OF YOUR BRAND. We’re all consumers, potential donors, etc.
On the partnership front, we have it down and do our part to deliver great work quickly. When brands move excruciatingly slowly pre-contract, we sometimes decide we can’t work together. We need to be nimble to be successful, especially when it comes to social.
Some getting-out-of-the-weeds ideas
Trust the people you hired. Let them make decisions, build successes and prove themselves.
Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? Approving something that doesn’t work isn’t a failure. You should learn something that informs what you do next. Hiring someone who isn’t a cultural match happens all the time. Why not ask to do temp to perm?
Look up. Play to your highest best use. Leaders who are super focused on smaller decisions are sometimes avoiding the big ones. The big ones are why you’re here. Get out of the weeds.
Get coaching. We’re happy to recommend someone. The right coach can help you let go; we get that it’s not always easy.
Seek support: You might be having trouble because you’re short a senior person, either on the marketing or the creative side. If that’s the case, we have fractional marketers and CDs who can fill a gap, train your team, even go contract to perm if you want.
How can we help?
Inspiration Fridays
Photos of our recent Inspiration Friday, which included retail innovator visits and a trip to the Haitian Heritage Museum in Miami
Summer Fridays are such an easy and low cost way to boost morale as a leader. And we feel they actually yield returns. You’re sending employees off at a time when they’d be at their highest distraction point anyway, and helping them come back refreshed on Monday.
Even better, send them off with a list of ways to have an “Inspiration Friday”
Browse local shops; take photos of signage and merchandising
Play tourist in your home city, provide list of hidden gems (in Boston, Boston Athenaeum is a good start)
Outdoor concerts - stimulating the senses enriches our ability to be creative
This can turn into a very special benefit; we’re happy to create a custom digital map, canvas bag, and branded tour specifically launching from your Ht Q. It’s another reason to go to the office and conveys that employee wellbeing matters.
What’s a Fractional CD
Meet the fractional CD
A few years ago, I was introduced to one of my now best friends and favorite work partners, Michelle Heath of Growth Street. And at the same time, I was also introduced to the concept of a fractional CMO.
I immediately thought of how many businesses could use one.
A CMO is hard to find for a variety of reasons. It’s a crucial role, and you need both the experience and the chemistry to be right. They have to work successfully with creatives and also deliver results.
A fractional CMO can enter the picture in a variety of ways – to amplify the experience on the team when a seasoned CMO isn’t available or practical, develop strategy at a crucial plateau or growth point, as CMO coverage during the hiring process or a maternity/paternity leave, or to help teach the team to fish - building out the marketing practices so the existing team can go forward. Notice I’m saying “existing,” not “in-house” - that’s because the fractional CMO (especially now that we are mostly in hybrid or full WFH situations) feels like part of the in-house team while still bringing the freshness of an outside perspective. And all of this has become accepted practice.
So when will we more widely adopt the practice of a fractional CD?
It’s funny; many in-house and big agency CDs end up being temporary (the average tenure is just 1-2 years!). CD is a tricky role. You have to be fresh to be creative. You have to be brave and vulnerable. You’re inherently passionate, and there’s something personal about putting your big ideas into the fray. CDs can be fragile, territorial, unable to manage others, and even prone to tantrums.
I’ve seen them fired (the tantrum thing), laid off as the highest payrolled when an account moves on. I’ve seen them quit in a huff (sometimes very soon after arrival) and also cause other departures for failure to promote deserving team members. I’ve seen them burn out, too. Quietly quitting, losing the freshness, going through the motions.
Yet HR hasn't become widely open to hiring a non-full-time CD. What’s the risk? Is it more than the risk of hiring full-time, where there’s more overhead and more to lose?
Here are some things that I and others on our team have done as fractional CDs or copy/design directors:
Develop and lead a season when internal creative efforts need some oomph
Mentor internal creative staff
Creatively drive a key holiday season
Lead brand evolution (or just voice or visual or digital)
Evaluate where a team isn’t working and provide a go-forward plan
Drive day-to-day creative
Take a big agency’s proposed strategy down to IRL initiatives
Creatively strategize around a key release
Develop a change in key messaging across platforms
As part of a large agency, provide a vertical experience needed or lead a pitch
Our fractional CDs come with the freshness of agency experience but present internally as part of the team. They make the work better, teach/train/mentor internal team members, and can bring in additional players as needed (also without overhead). They know a wide range of verticals, (obviously) play nicely with others, and it’s a comfort to HR to know that if the fit’s off, it’s easy enough to make a change. (It hasn’t happened yet.)
If you’re a CMO or CCO, consider trying it out, or letting HR know you’re open to this and let’s talk. As creative talent gets harder and harder to find, we happen to think this is a smart approach that yields better work, a better team, better collaboration and better creatives.
JUNE THE NINETEENTH IS ABOUT YOU; HERE IS WHY
By Philo Uwamaria
June the 19th is the day we pause, reflect, and remember the inequalities African Americans faced over the years until present day. In 2021, President Joe Biden signed a law for us to remember the emancipation of African Americans and commemorate African American Culture.
The day goes by many names: the Juneteenth National Independence day, Jubilee Day, Emancipation Day, Freedom Day, or Black Independence Day.
Happy not to come to the office on the day? That makes two of us and some! Not only in your state but the entire federal republic will be on holiday. How cool is that! Except for this time, it will not be a weather-infested movie binge and thankfully, not a pandemic-informed lockdown. Instead, it will be a monumental pause, hopefully a reset button, to educate ourselves and evaluate our learnings, to deeply reflect.
History of Juneteenth
But what is the day all about, why was it chosen? We cannot exhaust the history of the day in one blog post. At the time, our nation dealt with equality challenges of an intense kind, there were lone voices of courage who stood for change; and since then, a lot of water under the bridge, sweat and tears, a lot to be proud of but equally, lots of room for improvement.
Here is a brief on why June the 19th should be remembered by all of us and those who follow after. During the American civil war, there was a big clash between the warring forces on the question of slavery. Yes, it was once a debate. That is how far we’ve come! On January 1, 1863, President Abraham Lincoln passed the Emancipation Proclamation, which freed the enslaved people of Texas and all other Southern secessionist states in the Confederacy except in parts of states not in rebellion. The challenge was that enforcement of such an order depended on the progress of Union troops. That meant that for a time, slavery remained in some Union states. Finally, on June the 19th, 1865, Union Army General Gordon Granger announced General Order No. 3, proclaiming the freedom of the enslaved people in Texas. You can read more about the history of the day here.
Violence against BIPOC continues to be a challenge in our nation to this day. In the years after emancipation, George Floyd’s murder was obviously not the first racially motivated crime, and we cannot say it was the last. However, we can say that the spotlight on the soul of our society left an indelible mark. It sparked the Black Lives Matter movement, a global campaign to bring awareness to the regrettable evils that still lurk within our society.
How You Can Be Part of this Day
While building on such guideposts, we can take days like June the 19th to reflect on whether we are doing enough or if there is indeed more we can do to make our society safe for all the people that comprise it.
Our former First Lady, Michelle Obama, once said, “Even though the story has never been tidy, and Black folks have had to march and fight for every inch of our freedom, our story is nonetheless one of progress.” We can add to her optimism and claim a part of the struggle for this improved responsibility. It is not a black person’s battle but a battle for every well-meaning American to shun racism in all its forms. You may want to soak in even more of such wisdom.
Here is a good place to start.
Let us start by spreading some love and light. On June 19th;
Will you reach out to a friend of color and wish them a happy commemoration day?
Will you send some flowers?
Will you look for some causes impacting marginalized communities that you can actively participate in?
Will you use a few moments of your time online to join the voices of progress and raise even more awareness within your social networks?
Will you donate to the cause?
These options are in no way exhaustive but indeed not a bad place to start. So let us make the day count, let us honor the blood and sweat of our ancestors but more importantly, let us take the baton, let us lift the torch, and shine the path for those who follow us.
WORK WE’RE PROUD OF: EITC
When Susanne + I started this business about 6 years ago, we figured we’d end up working mostly for modern retail clients like Rue La La, where we met, or M.Gemi, where I was Creative Director. But before Rue La La, I was a creative director in a PR firm for 8 years where my focus was more on professional services and mission-focused organizations, and I’ve found that lots of them have come to us to put some of the edge of great ecomm businesses against their urgent goals.
We’ve found a great (and repeat) partner in 1235 Strategies, helmed by Leslie Kerns, whom I’ve known since my days at that PR firm. She’s a very sought after leader in impacting social change through communications, advocacy, creative, and campaign strategies. And we’ve each brought clients to the other.
In this case, Leslie came with an RFP she was excited about. Mostly because it was a problem she understood and deeply wanted to address.
Poverty rates for young adults are among the highest of any age group living in the U.S. While the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) has helped millions of low- and moderate-income people lift themselves out of or avoid poverty, the program excludes 19 to 24-year-olds. As a result, instead of getting a refund every April, these young workers get left further behind. The COVID-19 pandemic underscored the inequity of the EITC exclusion, with an over-representation of low-income 19-to-24-year-olds from communities of color in the ranks of our country’s “essential” workers. In response, Congress temporarily expanded the EITC to include 19-to-24-year-olds who made up to $21,000 in 2021, even if they’ve never filed before. While not the permanent fix needed, the temporary expansion meant up to $1,500 in the pockets of millions of hardworking young adults. But to get the money they deserve, these young workers had to file their taxes.
The client, the EITC Funders Network, asked for bids to drive a specific action on a budget—with the April 18 tax deadline looming—they had to quickly reach young, low-income workers, about an issue they don’t typically follow, and with an action very few of us like to take (“do your taxes!”)?
Leslie brought together both HCC and digital cause marketing expert Daigneault Digital. On our first call, we poked the budget, and I asked: What if we gave the entire amount to influencers? It’s something that we hadn’t seen done in the space, but both Leslie and Steve Daigneault of Daigneault Digital are innovators, and they both said: This could actually work. So together we took a leap and went out on this limb in the RFP.
Lucky for us, the EITC Funders Network was open and ready to try something different. At kickoff, our team recommended the pilot campaign stay laser-focused on one ambitious goal: Drive low-income, young Black and brown workers to GetYourRefund.org (GYR.org), a 100 percent free tax service by Code for America where they could start filing their taxes. Putting the pilot campaign’s creative development entirely in the hands of a strategic group of authentic social influencers did so many things:
Assured they'd see creative they'd respond to because it was created by influencers they already cared about
Came with a built in distribution channel
Maximized the budget rather than wasting it on an unreliable ad campaign we then couldn't afford to distribute
The team suggested some short and sweet messages (“it’s your money, you deserve it, go get paid”) and then let our social influencer partners run with it, understanding they know their audiences best and the more authentic their content, the better. And Steve led a strategy of paid digital ads to test different creative content from our influencer partners and even further amplify the power of these influencers.
In just five weeks, the campaign generated over 141,000 homepage views to GYR.org. And as a bonus, these views turned into more than $626,000 in estimated tax refunds for 19-to-24-year-old workers. We created partnerships with nine social influencers (including seven on TikTok and two on Instagram) with predominant followings of young adults from Black and brown communities. Collectively, these influencers secured over 307,000 engagements and reached 2.7 million individuals. We also launched an ad campaign on Facebook with six sets of ad creative, which reached 1.3 million individuals, more than 80 percent of whom were within our targeted age demographic.
The pilot campaign’s top-performing influencer was @dukelovestaxes. Duke’s video used both humor and credible tax advice to motivate our targeted demographic.
The podcaster and TikTok influencer @ieinfriends used funny and personal messaging to drive traffic to GYR.org.
Lessons from Miami Retail (and yes, they apply to you)
Since spending more time-based in Miami, (the Design District is my home neighborhood) I’ve seen brands at their most experimental, invested, effective, and ineffective. All on a day-to-day basis.
I’ve learned that my online retail experience is incredibly helpful for even nonprofit clients seeking to penetrate perception and move a needle. So too is Miami’s innovative, out-there, and ever-evolving brick-and-mortar shopping district incredibly instructive for emerging and other mainly online brands.
Here’s what I mean.
Always change the window. Miami loves a window change. Any time I walk by a window and see the same display, I assume there's nothing new in the store. And vice versa. It’s so basic, it’s so easy, and I’m always so surprised how many people get it wrong. I poke in on the sites of clients I’ve worked with, and find the homepage is the same since we last worked together! The homepage and landing pages are your store windows for key audiences. For a nonprofit, this is a “credibility” display that says – yes, we know what’s up, we’re paying attention, we’re nimble. Change the headlines. Change the images. Or we’re all thinking - eh, nothing new there.
And don’t put it in the window if you don’t have it for sale. (Or do, but with intention.) I saw a pair of shoes in a window recently and when I walked in and asked about them, they told me they were runway only and not available. It was my first time being interested in this brand, and when they didn’t have what caught my eye, it broke the pathway to action they were taking me down, and I wouldn’t be inclined to try again. If you run an ad, make sure it drives right to purchase anything you’re showing there. If you’re eliciting a donation or other action, don’t just look at what you’re using to elicit it, but the entire chain – the landing page and beyond - through to the action you want people to take.
The fish are bigger than you think. Create a smaller pond. Here, you really see the might of the brands you love. From a fully branded Fendi cafe erected for months to a giant Mercedes store created to align with the Formula 1 racing event and taken down beam by beam when it ended. You see in stark relief just how much the brands we already know and love put into maintaining that status in consumers' hearts and minds. I had a brand I really wanted to work with because I liked the product and the person behind it a lot, but they had a really small budget. And we diverged on how to spend it. They’d see and want to pick off all sorts of opportunities. But to me, a scattered approach is a waste; I really wanted them to take a moment and consider where they’d get the most bang for their buck, radiating out from where the founder lives with a smart, targeted effort. Can you imagine dropping in here where there’s a SKIMS pop-up, red carpets, Housewives appearances, etc, and trying to get seen and remembered?
People love to browse. The browsing in the Design District is epic. People dress up and wait in lines just to browse and take pictures of themselves in stores, in front of the store, and holding merchandise. Browsing is good! Browsing is the gateway. Oftentimes, it’s the thought that you’re going to “just browse” that allows you to go inside and ultimately leads you to buy. So make it easy and delightful for a stakeholder to browse. Include a “shop all” as well as some engaging, of-the-moment digital shops within shops. And curate collections with a price mix that entices a browser to go ahead and convert (like, “ok I guess I can do the sunglasses”). For a nonprofit it’s offering lots of ways and amounts to donate and what they can do for your org (something emotional and palpable). For a professional services business, it’s offering testimonials and results to browse and branding a free first contact/audit/consult. I’d love to A/B test “shop all” versus “browse” on a nav and as an email button. My instinct tells me that the seemingly lower stakes of browsing is less of a barrier to entry.
Be warm to your customer. Sounds obvious. Surprisingly isn’t. The sales assistants in Miami see oddities all day long. But they want to make sales. So they’re warm! They engage! They complement a particular part of your outfit. They offer you water. Or wine. And because they’re so kind, it’s harder to leave empty-handed! Yet too often we don’t do the equivalent online. When I was part of launching Rue La La, I made a big deal that the language, just because it’s digital, shouldn't be robotic. I still find the same thing during site audits today. A category landing page, for example, should be warm and inviting. You searched for something, and we don’t just toss it all on the ground (or the page) in front of you. A little text goes a long way to setting up the experience and has an SEO impact to boot.
Be smart about your offseason. Here, everything crucial to the business gets done in time for the start of the season. And as soon as the off-season starts, retailers dig right in to the longer term work that will make a big impact on launch. New stores are being built. Planning starts now for the huge scale popups that will garner attention in high season. In summer, gather a few key players to dig into holiday (or holiday giving for nonprofits). In slower months for giving, when high-end donors retreat to summer homes, make site upgrades that make giving easier. Look at your succession plans. Use low seasons to A/B test, experiment with new sharing initiatives, and talk to customers/stakeholders.
Make an Escape Plan
I was talking to a friend who’s the president of a retail business the other day and she told me she just took her first vacation in 2 years. 2 years!
We all know (and if you’re a leader, you probably tell your employees) the value of a vacation. As humans, we can’t function at 100% 24/7/365. It’s just not possible. Physically or psychologically. Then there’s what it does to you creatively. In a traditional creative role (communications, creative direction, etc.) of course but also in all roles where you have to think strategically and look for new ways to break through. How can you possibly think differently when you’re exhausted and/or staring at the same four walls? And in the case of COVID, staring at the same four walls – or more accurately of late, at the news – NONSTOP.
Yet many of us have been home without a break A LOT. Either from fears around COVID travel, trouble hiring in roles where coverage is needed.
A vacation right now, especially given what’s happening in the world, may seem like an incongruous luxury. But vacations result in “improved productivity, lower stress, and better overall mental health,” according to the Harvard Business Review. And when you’re a manager, it has a trickle-down effect: “When managers forgo vacation time, it not only places them squarely on the road to burnout, it also generates unspoken pressures for everyone on their team to do the same.”
In a swirl of horrible news, the one not-so-horrible development is that the CDC is now saying we can "travel to do some of these things that we love.”
So what might that look like for you? A few suggestions for planning your escape:
Combine business and pleasure: When I worked at M.Gemi, I once tacked a trip to Sicily with my hubby onto the start of an Italian photoshoot. Get going with business in mind, but create a moment for pleasure too.
Start with a weekend: If it feels like a lot to hop on a plane for a week, start with a short driving trip to a coastal town.
Check-in on relatives you haven’t seen in a while but stay in a hotel to have some true “getaway” moments.
Research your next nest: If you are or will soon be an empty nester, use vacation bursts to explore cities you might possibly move to at some point.
Staycation first: Once, when I had sold my condo, I checked into a hotel in my own city to work while my husband had surgery nearby. It gave me a whole new perspective without the need to sightsee. Even that can freshen your mind.
And when you get back, let your team know what getting away did for you and suggest others do the same.
Woman Warrior: When the going got tough, our Lead Writer got going.
We are so close, we’re family. We’ve worked together for decades. And I still remember the day our writer Jennifer told me something was worrisome in her young son’s test results.
Turns out, her charming, delicious little boy with hair like a troll doll to match his mischievous streak, had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Like everything else in her life, Jennnifer attacked it head-on. Today, she has reason to be hopeful, and she’s controlling her family’s destiny by starting her organization, curecharlie.org.
As you can imagine, the woman is BUSY, but I snuck in 3 questions I’ve always wanted to know.
HCC: People always say, “every little bit counts.” Does it really? What’s the best way to be supportive?
Jennifer: It truly does. Think about it this way--science had the mRNA technology for the COVID vaccine years before COVID created a tipping point that expedited its application. It is very much the same for Duchenne and other rare diseases. The pace of change in the science, including gene therapies, is mind-boggling. I think of it as a series of different machines humming out there--at some point, there will be a tipping point, and everything will come together. The more funding scientists have, the sooner that will happen. And like a coin jar, small donations add up far quicker than you think!
HCC: How on earth do you juggle work as a creative leader of your own business with having your own charity?
Jennnifer: Some days, it feels more like whack-a-mole than juggling. My time has become even more calibrated than ever and I don’t have a lot of (read: any) room for extraneous nonsense. I will say that each benefits the other in surprising ways. My work, which often covers medicine, and always involves creative problem-solving, informs my efforts for Charlie. And my efforts for Charlie, I think, are enhancing my capacity for humanity and prioritizing what truly matters!
HCC: How do you focus when you’re in the thick of an emotional day? Is there anything employers should think about when their employees have kids with life-impacting diseases?
Jennifer: I always go back to the saying, “Be kind, because almost everyone has some sort of battle they are fighting.” You just never know what is going on behind a brave face. Kindness and empathy are always, always of the essence. Unless you’re a trauma surgeon, some things can wait.
Booster Survival Kit (It hurts, but it also ends. And prep helps. So, let’s go.)
If you’ve been thinking about booster shots, you’re not alone. When should you get it? How long can you expect to be out of work? And what steps should you take to ensure you’re prepared? Our fearless founder, Rachel Solomon, recently shared her tips for “Booster Survival” on Medium. Click to read the full story!
Horrors of Psychological Manipulation at work; Gaslighting, Toxic Behavior and Shattered Self Worth
Horrors of Psychological Manipulation at work; Gaslighting, Toxic Behavior and Shattered Self Worth
by Kamrin Eriksen Huban certified Executive Leadership and Performance Coach
My chest felt empty, hollow and grey. My steps were unsteady. I remember a lightheadedness and the distinct feeling that everything was not ok. My limbs felt weightless, bloodless. The back of my head was tingly, every hair on it seemed to be standing at individual attention. I was in my own house. I wasn’t in danger. It was sunny and beautiful outside, I’d planned to take our daughter to the park to get some fresh air. I looked fine. But there was no way that I could drive a car and care for my child, I had suddenly become stricken with terror.
I didn’t start having panic attacks until after the abuse had stopped. I’d left. I’d left the work I’d loved because I’d become a shell of the person I once was. How strange that the panic came after. I’d been on constant alert for verbal attack, non-verbal cutting dismissal, and pernicious, endless questions for 18 months. I’d left not because I finally had any great epiphany or surge of self confidence, I left because my husband finally said to me quietly and firmly, “You have to pick a day, and it has to be your last. We don’t recognize you anymore.”
And I cried. I didn’t want to quit.
First, it wasn’t me
When I saw the first woman bullied by the most senior woman in leadership, I was outraged and stunned. How could this behavior possibly be condoned? Wasn’t someone going to stand up to her? I wish that I had had the strength and wherewithal to challenge the situation right away and say out loud (and not just in my head a million times) “What. The. fuck. is going on here?”
With a lot of time, therapy, medication, a stint at the notorious Butler Hospital (two professionals in a span of two weeks recommended I check myself in), training in Co-Active Coaching, training in Mental Fitness, a lot of reading, speaking to others and listening; now I believe I would have that conversation. Now that I understand that I’d been psychologically manipulated and that my initial instincts were spot on, I could have the conversation I’ve dreamt of having.
My wish now is to travel back in time to that moment. As soon as I’d seen my friend humiliated in front of the rest of the senior team, I’d ask for a meeting with the COO, CEO, Head of HR and the owners of the company. I want to ask them, did they really think this was a good way to manage people? Was there really no consideration for employee well being or self worth? Or at the very least, for retention? But then? I was just back to work.
I stayed. She stayed. Why?
I’d been searching for a job for 1.5 years and had been out of the workforce for 3. I had spent time at home when I had our daughter. So, I was still questioning myself, did I know enough about what I was hired to do? Had I kept up with industry changes? Did I understand the new retail competitive landscape? Three years seemed like a lifetime. And, I felt like I needed the paycheck. I felt like staying was my only option. I would end up trading my self worth, my value, my ability to parent well, my confidence in my leadership abilities, time with my husband, time with my friends and ultimately the stability of my mental health for that feeling. That feeling that there was no other option than to stay.
So, instead of speaking up, I worked hard. And then I worked harder. And then harder and harder still. I watched another woman friend get stripped of her title and demoted in place. After 10 years in the company her salary was cut, her self esteem trashed. And then another woman friend. Promoted, and then told she was the problem; “work smarter not harder.”God, those words make me cringe.
Back to the first woman I’d seen bullied, she kept showing up every day. She smiled at everyone, had a positive attitude and was a joy to work with. When one of the Board Members yelled at her in the middle of a product line review, cutting her down for her “failures,” in front of approximately fifty of us, I thought: “This is it. Now she is out of here for sure.”
Why did she stay? Couldn’t she see that these people were abusing her?
I talked to her after work and told her, “I love working with you, you are a fantastic partner, I will miss you terribly, but you have to leave.”
“I can’t quit,” was her response.
“It’s about sanity! It’s about self respect! You look like a skeleton, they are literally killing you” I pleaded.
“Yeah, I can’t keep any food down anymore. But, I. Just. Can’t. Quit.”
I did not understand and I promised myself, “When this nightmare is my turn, I am so out of here.”
And then it was my turn.
Psychology Today defines psychological manipulation “the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits and/or privileges at the victim’s expense. In psychological manipulation, one person is used for the benefit of another. The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power and exploits the victim to serve his or her agenda.”
My turn began with the bullying woman talking about me to other people, in front of people who worked for me. “Forget about Kamrin,” she’d said to my peer. Someone who worked for me was in the room and texted me that the conversation was taking place.
It hurt. It discounted my work. It made me question my worth. It made my sense of self feel threatened.
In meetings she would roll her eyes at my comments. When she passed me in the hall she would ignore me. I was running a division of the business and she constantly challenged me in front of others. I spoke to the COO about how awful it was to work with someone who made it extremely clear that she didn’t like me. He had nothing to say to me. No words of encouragement. No, “she’s just busy, of course she likes you.” Just silence.
On the day that she relentlessly attacked me in front of my team. I asked if we could have the conversation in another room. She kept going. I asked again. She didn’t stop.
I almost quit that day. And I should have. I should have used that anger. But she had gotten under my skin. I had a visceral need to prove that I was worthy. That was the manipulation.
The start of the end
And then, she berated me for praising a new hire whom I had introduced to our Board. I was so thrilled to have an expert in the field working for us. I thanked them for the budget and told them I thought it was such a smart move.
I was completely caught off guard when this woman called me to her office and told me I had lionized our new hire. And that by doing so it was going to be hard for me to keep her under control now that she knew I thought so highly of her. I had never, in my 20 years of international management, never been told not to praise someone. The woman went on to tell me that I should manage everyone in such a way that they would always question themselves with this: “What more can I do to make my boss happy?”
She’d just shown her hand. The manipulation was cunning and purposeful. Manage people in a way that would let them know that no matter what they did, how hard they worked, how good they were, it would never be enough. It evokes an intense emotional response in most people. A visceral, mentally damaging response if they don’t realize that they are not the problem.
The start of a new beginning.
Psychological manipulators destroy you slowly and carefully.
Once described as positive and upbeat, toward the end I could barely answer the question, “How’s work?” without tearing up and stumbling over my words. How was work? “Work” was great, I loved the job. But I was being destroyed by someone running the company and her enablers. I didn’t have words to express my fragility, my fear, my shame, my humiliation, my insane and intense need to prove that I was enough.
Work for most people is a place where we want to contribute; to be seen, heard, taken seriously and rewarded. And yes, we want to learn, thrive and be promoted, too. I don’t think any of those sound particularly out of line.
But with horror stories like I’ve described above; many of us experience, or have experienced, the Sunday Scaries, the Sunday Night Blues, the pit in our stomach when the weekend winds to a close. I’m not a psychologist. I’m an Executive Leadership and Personal Development Coach and a mom, wife, daughter, business owner, friend and a previous corporate employee. I’m adding this because maybe you see yourself in me. And if you do, you are not alone.
From me to you: a bag of tricks
Here are some things in my bag of tricks that we can do to demystify toxic environments and not lose ourselves to soul-sucking bosses.
Trust your gut. Really. If it feels wrong. If you see someone being treated nastily by someone in power and it goes unchecked, something is up.
If you feel bullied or scared, talk to someone outside of the office. HR unfortunately, may be under the same duress. Find someone you trust and share what is going on. But then, really listen to their response. It is so much easier to see a situation for what it is when you are not in it. My mistake was that I talked, but I didn’t listen. Everyone else could see what was going on, but I was too caught up in it.
Create a positive community outside of work. This can be a network of friends you see regularly or a workout group or a class that you take or anything else you come up with. It should be something that you invest time into regularly that gives you energy, brings you joy and takes your mind off of work.
Practice moments of Mental Fitness during the day. Mental Fitness is a technique that gets you out of your head and back in touch with your body. It is a powerful tool to get you out of reaction mode and into creation mode. I use this for focus, getting over procrastination, facing fear and for understanding my triggers.
Gather and project: If you are afraid to speak up for fear of looking stupid, practice a trick my friend and communication coach, Daya Ottley taught me: Gather your thoughts, Arrange what you are going to say (3 points max), Speak dynamically. Not monotone. Not whispery quiet. Harder than it sounds, but super effective!
Get a coach: If your self esteem and self confidence has been trashed, I can’t stress enough the importance of investing in a personal coach. Every single elite athlete has a coach (or coaches), trainers, teams of people helping them and supporting them. It is OK to recognize that you need some space and help to rebuild. A good coach will help you reframe situations and help you reacquaint yourself with your special sauce.
p.s. If you are the boss in this scenario, or there’s someone on a team you manage who deep down you know is toxic, don’t ignore it. The huge, contagious distraction and impact on bottom line is reason enough if your humanity is not. Get yourself or them help. As our LICSW friend noted in this blog earlier> “People typically bully because they have been made to feel powerless in their own lives and attempt to mask their pain through making others feel weak. Bullies have deep insecurities that they take out on others in order to hide from their fears. It is often a learned behavior that they’ve either witnessed or personally experienced.” And if it’s a repeat problem, remember that everyone is replaceable. You’ll be surprised how much gets done when the toxicity is cut out.
Person of Honor: Frederique Gilan-Huneeus
“Do I contradict myself? So I contradict myself. I am vast. I contain multitudes.” It’s a Walt Whitman quote. And it’s a brawny, some say cocky one. But to me, the people who really embody it most aren’t brawny or cocky at all. They’re jugglers, they’re multifaceted, they’re whole realized people like you and me.
How about this for a master juggle? Frederique Gilan-Huneeus is a finance lawyer (whose work took her Tokyo, London and now Hong Kong), wife, a mother of two, a friend, an art and fashion lover … and breast cancer survivor. She is “passionate about integrity, thinking positively, cultivating lightness in life and of course collecting (and wearing) Céline by Phoebe Philo pieces.” This is where I first encountered her, in my fashion-heavy (but so much more) instagram feed.
I thought her story was so inspiring and would inspire all of you, so I asked if she’d share it.
HCC: So I am taking a big inhale as I ask it. How did you initially make your breast cancer discovery?
FGH: 2014 New Year’s Resolution. One that I kept. I had felt a continuing, sharp and acute pain on the side on my left breast for a little while and although I did not feel any lump it did seem a bit off. I have a breast cancer family history … I had skipped my annual mammogram the year before and felt rather guilty about it.
HCC: And then what happened?
FGH: I went to the imaging center on a Saturday morning, a look at the technician’s face and I knew the weekend would not be as relaxing as expected. A few days later I had a biopsy done, then a full body PET scan, the C-word was quickly mentioned and next thing I knew we were talking about scheduling a double mastectomy for the following week. My cancer was invasive and spreading fast. I quickly took a second opinion and before I even had the time to fully realize, I was lying down on an operation table in Hong Kong not knowing exactly what the future would be holding for me. I did not cry, I got everything organized extremely efficiently as if it were a work situation or something happening to somebody else. I was not brave, I was acting strong because I had no choice, I could only fight to win.
HCC: Will you talk about that first journey?
FGH: The operation went well, I had a reconstruction done at the same time (which had to be redone a few months later), it was followed by courses of chemo and hormonotherapy. In spite of that tsunami I was in good spirits most of the time throughout the treatments. I was able to take sick leave for most of them. Being able to keep my positive outlook was an invaluable. This said, I am not a superwoman either, I had ups and downs, there were days where I was exhausted, weak, sometimes I felt I had enough, but during all these months of treatments, I wanted to stay close to my family and friends, I wanted them to see and understand that I was not only a sick person, I certainly had cancer, this was a fact and it was part of my life at that moment, but I did not stop being me and being alive.
HCC: How did you find people responded?
FGH: Cancer is a pretty scary thing and often people are not too sure how they should talk to you and treat you, they pity you and fear for themselves at the same time realizing that we are all mere mortals. I wanted to remove all the pathos, the drama, the fear: I was the same old me with fake boobs, a shiny bald head and a huge battle to win.
HCC: What did you find helpful?
FGH: I was determined not to let the disease isolate me, physically or psychologically, and to stay connected with others and with myself. It really does not help to be reminded all the time how hard and terrible it is. I found my daily boost of morale and confidence in staying stylish, being creative with my looks, putting makeup on and getting dressed every day. This helped me stay myself whilst at the same time, I was learning to live in this new body of mine, to treat it well, to accept it and to love it too, which was quite a task!.I had the same visible side effects from treatments as others (with cancer we all tend to look the same) but I did not let them get to me. I had cancer, I was not cancer and I was not going to let it define me, even for a period of time. Obviously, cancer was never part of my life plan, so I chose the way to live with it, to live through it as it was the only thing I could influence. My oncologist once asked me where I was going “dressed like that” just after receiving my chemo. It was a cause of concern for him, I was wasting my time and my precious energy on unimportant and irrelevant things. The same things that were exactly what I needed to feel alive, to keep my dignity, my femininity, to bring some lightness and to continue to have a social life, all of which were essential to me. I simply needed to do it on my own terms and in my own style. To build the strengths I needed. For me and for my loved ones.
HCC: And you made it. But then it came back.
FGH: I went back to work full time pretty soon after the end of my treatments, with hindsight it was perhaps too soon and too much of a “full time” to be honest. Two years later, I was starting to feel less tired and ready to move forward, and was on my way to India on a business trip when I noticed that this nasty sharp and acute pain was back in my left axilla. And it did not stop. I could not believe it, panic, stress, name it, I was totally overwhelmed. I called my surgeon who booked me in for an appointment on the next Saturday morning just after I landed in Hong Kong. He gave me the “keep calm and breathe” talk. And he did an ultrasound. When he got to “the” area, after a few long minutes, he looked at me and said “in order to be sure and stay on the safe side, I would like to do a biopsy.A few days later, I was told the cancer was back. The treatments did not work the first time round.
HCC: What was different the second time?
FGH: A different course of chemo, radiotherapy sessions and more hormonotherapy were on the menu. The worst thing about going through it a second time is that you somewhat know what to expect and your awareness that cancer is a life-threatening condition is severely heightened. I joined a support group in Hong Kong, it was fantastic to meet women who understood what I was going through. I also got to connect with other sick women through social media. Very quickly people started asking me advice about turbans, hats, and style more generally. A lot of women, especially the younger ones, are focused on beauty, at that time I was identified as the one who could help on the fashion and style front.
HCC: I love following your unique style and confident celebration of life on instagram.
FGH: That’s how I started an Instagram account, I named it “cancerfashionalistic”, as it was very important for me to put those two words, cancer and fashion, together. I did not want to talk about cancer like in a blog, I did not really want to give any advice, I just wanted to show my "looks of the day", from the simplest to the craziest ones. I was also posting photos of women wearing turbans with gusto and other images reflecting my inspirations as well as my mood and spirit.
HCC: You bravely put yourself out there.
FGH: I was not particularly comfortable with the idea of exposing myself in that way but I guess cancer makes you jump out of your comfort zone and in the circumstances I was willing to do it. Because it made me happy, it was taking my focus away from the disease as I was having fun doing this with and in spite of cancer. It was also a great way to keep in touch with my close friends, including those who live miles away. The fact that they saw me every day, that I was coming to them, made communication easier, it gave them strength too. We could spare the small talks, there was no elephant in the room, they could remain natural and we could enjoy the simple pleasure of discussing and sharing.I also aimed at spreading a positive message using a universal language. Images, a smile (as much as possible!) and humor.
HCC: What do you want individuals with breasts (since I think it’s not just women!) to take away from your story and from this awareness month?
FGH: Self-examination is critical for men and women; the more you practice it the easiest it will be to notice if something is a bit off or different from the previous time. Regular screening is also highly recommended and to be discussed with your doctor but the first line of defence is self-examination. Do it once a month, if you follow me on Instagram (@lafredtouch), you will be reminded to do it on the first day of each month. Trust your body and listen to it, the signals I got were clear and loud and I was lucky I listened and had the confidence to force my doctors to trust me. It could happen to anyone, irrespective of gender, lifestyle, diet, age, density of breasts, family history etc.
HCC: Side note - your collection of Old Celine is fabulous. Is that why you love her work so much?
FGH: The first pieces I bought were a pair of grey pants and a white shirt from the 2010 Fall collection, when I relocated from London to Hong Kong for work and wanted a few “corporate with a twist (a lot of personality)” pieces to start my new job in style. So why do I love Céline by Phoebe Philo so much? Because the collections offer real clothes for real life which say something about the woman wearing them. From the very first collections, Phoebe’s proposal of apparent simplicity was very new and modern, she took us on a journey, where we grew with her prints, her color palette, her language, her constructions and her use of fur and technical fabrics, all these revolutionized “fashion”. Each collection challenged conventions and expectations. The Céline universe was (and still is) very special and timeless, with a strong sense of humor and fun in her aesthetic, something along the lines of “I don’t have to take myself too seriously because I can.”
HCC: Phoebe Philo is also a brave, whip smart and fearless woman.
FGH: I’ve always described it using contradictory (but, in this case, complementary) adjectives: fashion but not fashionable, structured and relaxed, cerebral and sensual, subtle and provocative, architectural and comfortable, fearless and desirable, avant-garde and refined, minimalist and exuberant, etc. I see it as a part of my communication tools. I wear Céline by Phoebe Philo for myself, not for anyone else.
Bullies + Scaries, Begone
HCC talks to Lauren Goorno, LICSW, about how to deal with workplace fears
Honor Code: So. Here we are. First up, tell me how you know this stuff!
Lauren: I am a licensed independent clinical social worker (LICSW) and own a private psychotherapy practice in Acton, MA. I work with a wide range of clients and treat a myriad of issues: depression, anxiety, life transitions, relationships, identity issues, etc. People also come to me to provide a safe supportive space to explore their choices, express their feelings and gain the skills necessary to manage their emotions in healthy ways.
HCC: And work life is part of that?
Lauren: Clients do often present with workplace anxiety and fears around performance. It is common for someone to enter my office with concerns regarding a presentation, group dynamics, performance review, job interview or even struggling to feel a sense of belonging at work.
HCC: WHat about the pandemic. Has that made it better, not having to do as much in person?
Lauren: The pandemic has been helpful for workplace anxiety in the short term, but detrimental in term of the bigger picture. The single most important thing someone can do to improve their fears is to face them again and again and again. Most of my clients have been forced into working from home, which is certainly comfortable and convenient. Zoom calls in pajama pants have become the new norm.
HCC: And then inevitably, they have to go back...
Lauren: Returning to work after avoiding situations that make you anxious will create increased fear initially. You're out of practice meeting with people in person and managing conflicts in real time. It takes more time and practice to regain the confidence lost and social skills needed to return to work after the pandemic. And you may have to relearn how to wear actual pants.
[HCC note: Not only knowledgeable, but funny too, this expert.]
HCC: What about those Sunday scaries? How do you get around those?
Lauren: Who doesn't want to live in vacation mode at all times? The weekends should allow us to relax and unwind. Although with that, often comes the dreaded Sunday blues. As with all feelings, it's helpful to be curious about what's coming up for you. Are you unhappy in your job? Is it impacting your life negatively in other ways? Or do you just not want to set an alarm tomorrow morning and have to be "on"? There is a difference. Take a few moments to evaluate the root cause of your low mood, validate your feelings and reframe the thoughts bringing you down. Then use some self-care for comfort. Plan your Sunday dinner, watch a good show, cuddle your pet and create something to look forward to.
HCC: What about people who get anxious about presenting? What do you tell them?
Lauren: Ahhh the dichotomy of presenting. You go through the nerves in order to feel the sense of pride that comes with doing something hard. Embrace it. Presenting in front of a group is often a necessary part of a job, so first accept this reality. Then prepare! Preparation is your antidote for fear of the unknown. Once you put in all the time you need to position yourself as best you can, let go. You've done the work. Trust yourself and your efforts. Get grounded in your body by finding what techniques work for you, like taking some deep breaths, noticing your surroundings, and even pressing your thumb and middle finger together. It's your thoughts that are making you anxious. So, connect your mind and body with a mindfulness exercise. You can also relieve your nervous energy by doing something physical like jumping jacks or pushups.
HCC: Let’s talk toxic. You know what we mean.
Lauren: Whether in a family, friend group or workplace setting there are personality types you may or may not choose for yourself. Learning the skills to get along will serve you well in any context. It's helpful at first to try and identify what's triggering you. There are times when it's more about what this person is bringing up in you than your actual disdain for them. Do they have a trait that you are wishing you had more of? Do they remind you of someone else? Is it hard for you to be in a hierarchy of power? If it's an "inside job" then the work is more around owning your feelings and processing them in a healthy way rather than acting them out. There are also times when you just don't jive well with someone.
HCC: Ugh, yes. And then …?
Lauren: There are varying techniques to implement ways to assert yourself with respect and thoughtfulness. Dialectical behavioral therapy, or DBT, uses a method for interpersonal effectiveness called DEAR MAN. D stands for be direct and use facts. E is to express yourself and how things are affecting you. A stands for assert how you'd like to see things in the future. R is to remind yourself to reinforce the positive. M is for being mindful to stay in the present and not bring up past grievances. A is for appearing confident and self assured and finally N stands for negotiating. It can feel empowering to learn ways to communicate your needs so you don't stay in a place of feeling helpless. So, own your issues with the person and then problem solve around ways you can try and make it better for yourself. It's also okay to see a therapist to express your frustrations (your friends and family can only take so much!).
HCC: What about bullying behavior?
Lauren: Sadly, there will always be bullies. It’s important to remember that people typically bully because they have been made to feel powerless in their own lives and attempt to mask their pain through making others feel weak. It’s never about you and something you’ve done to cause that kind of treatment. Bullies have deep insecurities that they take out on others in order to hide from their fears. It is often a learned behavior that they’ve either witnessed or personally experienced.
HCC: How do you know when it;s happening to you?
Lauren: Signs that you are being bullied include being put down repeatedly, criticized publicly or privately, yelled at, mocked, given the silent treatment, alienated, denied opportunities, etc. The key to figuring out if it is in fact bullying is if it’s a pattern. Bullying is continual and repeated over time.
HCC: Any suggestions for what to do when it’s happening
Lauren: It’s important to stand up for yourself and set a boundary if you can. The sooner you can call someone out by merely responding with confidence and clarity, the better. Bullies typically prefer to target people they perceive as weak, so show some strength even if you’re not feeling very strong. You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. If it doesn’t stop there, make a list of your experiences and bring it to your boss or HR. It’s not ever okay to be made to feel uncomfortable and inferior at work. The bully needs to be held accountable. I am sure that you are not alone, and this isn’t the first time the person has tried to intimidate another coworker. Seek support and come up with a plan to address your concerns.
HCC: How about those who are dealing with work stress and having trouble sleeping because of it? Any tips?
Lauren: Nighttime is typically the most challenging time. Your defenses are down, and distractions are limited. It is during these quiet moments that your mind tends to go to all the thoughts that create anxiety. This is a perfect opportunity to practice mindfulness. Before you go to quiet your mind, write down everything you feel like you have to do, so it’s outside of yourself. Then when your mind goes there, you can remind yourself it’s written down. Mindfulness is merely being present. Rather than letting your mind do whatever it wants, you have the ability to observe your thoughts and choose what to focus on. Why not choose to focus on things that will calm you or make you feel happy? If you need help, there are apps such as Headspace and Buddify that can guide you. The goal is to quiet your active mind and allow yourself to fall asleep peacefully. There are other techniques as well such as counting backwards from 99 or imagining the waves of an ocean in sync with your breathing. I always tell people that it’s like learning a new instrument. It does not happen naturally for most. It requires practice and patience. The hope is that in time your mind will be conditioned to go to a quiet place rather than a place of worry and stress.
HCC: Many of our readers are leaders themselves. And they’re not free from these issues, either.
Lauren: Leaders and bosses deal with their own fears about work. The imposter syndrome is a psychological term that many people in positions of power experience. They question whether they are actually good enough and fear being exposed for the fraud they believe themselves to be. They can’t show their vulnerabilities or weakness so they put on a front for others when deep down they may struggle to believe in their worth. It often leaves leaders alone with their fears and can create enormous stress and anxiety. There can also be fears around providing for your family as well as job stability. It can be helpful to remember that no matter what your status or title, your fears in the workplace are valid. Try and compartmentalize work so it doesn’t impact all areas of your life. Practice healthy ways of coping with your fears by making time for yourself and doing activities outside of work to maintain a balanced life.
Are you experiencing workplace fears or bullying and want support? You can reach Lauren at lgoorno@yahoo.com
Going back to work. (A little.)
Here's what you need to know.
A number of our clients are now at least talking about, if not actively in some sort of back to work mode. Some are hybrid, some are optional hybrid, and some have a plan for returning in January. Whatever the case, even as a consultant, you may find yourself at some point in the near-ish future, facing someone who wants to see you off screen. Ready? (Neither are we, but here goes.)
Re-up your masks. I’m going to assume you're vaccinated. And that if you’re eligible for a booster, you’re getting one. (And under the ADA, an employer can have a workplace policy that includes "a requirement that an individual shall not pose a direct threat to the health or safety of individuals in the workplace.") But the days of “I’m vaxxed so no mask” are over with breakthrough cases. The good news: Since the first time we started wearing masks, they’ve improved a lot. You’ve probably noticed. We figured out what masks work for our face shapes, and mask makers got the materials down, too. Gather and edit all your existing masks. Wash the ones you still like. I use Soak wash, which you don’t have to rinse out. Love the pomegranate! And pick up a few more that go with your work outfits and make you feel great (ish).
Cushion the ride. Chances are, you’re not getting back on public transportation. If you’re not normally a daily driver and/or have to go long distances, it can really hurt your back. It hurt mine! Slipping a back bolster with acupuncture -mimicking features under my lower back in the car seat was a huge relief.
And use road time wisely. Some of us really miss that time on a train to get a jump on work. Can you still do that on the road, safely? Kinda. You can listen to books and podcasts, of course. You can ask Siri to read all your texts from contacts you name. I also like using the time to brainstorm. Before you go, start a note on your smartphone with a title, say, “naming.” Then you can ask Siri, “add to my notes.” Siri will ask which you want to add to, and you say “naming” and go. Enunciate clearly. It takes practice.
Meet outside. I recently went to an all-vaccinated dinner where we ate indoors due to rain. One of the attendees later found she had COVID. I didn’t, but I was terrified, and then had to quarantine. If you can, take meetings outside. ( I’ve always liked to take a meeting as a walk, anyway, for fitness.) If you can’t, test and wait before you see older parents, etc. And ask for windows to be open if possible.
Fix the coffee sitch. You want to go into work, do what you need to do (the things that are truly meaningful face to face, ideally) and then get out. The less time in the elevator and kitchen, the better. Get a good coffee system in place in advance so you’re not also running for takeout, etc. Also, make sure you have a to-go mug that actually fits in the car cup holder. Surprisingly, they’re not universal.
Pack lunch. And eat it at a distance. (See above.) And if it’s your call, don’t host lunch meetings, as people have to be unmasked to eat.
Prep some tests. Home testing has gotten easier and more (not 100%, but more) accurate.
Own the awkward. Everyone is nervous, and our chatter skills are rusty. It feels weird to be with coworkers IRL. As always, we’re big proponents of being authentic about it. If you flub a little or have a slow start in a meeting, it’s fine to say “it’s been a minute since I’ve been out in real life, forgive me,” and laugh.
Get out of your comfies. As long as you’re taking the risk of getting in front of people, make it count. Spiff yourself up. Now’s not the time to continue your 100 day no-real pants streak. So many brands these days do washable, comfort work clothes there's really no excuse. My nephew loves Bonobos’ WFHQ pants, which don’t require WFH. Personally, I like a long cotton dress, or a pair of silky joggers and a soft blazer.
And get into collaborating. Take plenty of distanced meetings. Get off email, and tell a colleague - let’s chat outside! Leaders, look for unique, safer spaces outdoors, under tents, etc. Start large scale pin boards with tacked up inspiration, big enough for a couple people to stand in front of and still be 6 feet apart. Look at products and/or samples as often as possible, because there’s real value to that. Play golf with clients or vendors while weather allows. You’re not here to stare at a monitor; you can do that at home.
International Day of Peace
Each year the International Day of Peace is observed around the world on 21 September. The UN General Assembly has declared this as a day devoted to strengthening the ideals of peace, through observing 24 hours of non-violence and cease-fire.
In 2021, as we heal from the COVID-19 pandemic, we are inspired to think creatively and collectively about how to help everyone recover better, how to build resilience, and how to transform our world into one that is more equal, more just, equitable, inclusive, sustainable, and healthier.
The pandemic is known for hitting the underprivileged and marginalized groups the hardest. By April 2021, over 687 million COVID-19 vaccine doses have been administered globally, but over 100 countries have not received a single dose. People caught in conflict are especially vulnerable in terms of lack of access to healthcare.
In line with the Secretary-General’s appeal for a global ceasefire last March, in February 2021 the Security Council unanimously passed a resolution calling for Member States to support a “sustained humanitarian pause” to local conflicts. The global ceasefire must continue to be honoured, to ensure people caught in conflict have access to lifesaving vaccinations and treatments.
The pandemic has been accompanied by a surge in stigma, discrimination, and hatred, which only cost more lives instead of saving them: the virus attacks all without caring about where we are from or what we believe in. Confronting this common enemy of humankind, we must be reminded that we are not each other’s enemy. To be able to recover from the devastation of the pandemic, we must make peace with one another.
And we must make peace with nature. Despite the travel restrictions and economic shutdowns, climate change is not on pause. What we need is a green and sustainable global economy that produces jobs, reduces emissions, and builds resilience to climate impacts.
The 2021 theme for the International Day of Peace is “Recovering better for an equitable and sustainable world”. We invite you to join the efforts of the United Nations family as we focus on recovering better for a more equitable and peaceful world. Celebrate peace by standing up against acts of hate online and offline, and by spreading compassion, kindness, and hope in the face of the pandemic, and as we recover.
Source: https://www.un.org/en/observances/international-day-peace.
HCC's Fashion Coloring Book
We're no Iris, but we think this will still be a lot of fun.
Print these pages and get your colored pencils out.
https://www.universitycoop.com/iris
Happy National Coloring Day. It's relaxing. Try it.
Surprise Move: Moved out of our family home. And stumbled into some ahas.
I recently went through a move. We knew that when my son went to college, we’d get a place in Miami. We also planned to downsize in Boston. But we decided that first, we’d sell our place in Brookline where we’ve spent the past 12 years and move to Marion, MA for the summer.
NBD, right?
BD, actually, as it turns out. For starters, Brookline lulled us into thinking we didn’t have much stuff. And true, it had no basement or attic. But I also used a guest room as a closet. My husband then got the whole main closet for his Kennedy, Phish, Beatles, etc. memorabilia (taking a few deep breaths as I type). Leading up to the move, we also painstakingly gave things to friends, donated them, and sold them. We also stored a bunch of things for Miami. We thought we did pretty well. Still, we probably went from 3500 square feet to 1200.
We were also lucky to have a professional crew of movers who packed and moved us. But for a variety of reasons, they didn’t finish until after midnight on move day. They couldn’t stay to unpack and remove boxes. They had to go home to their families.
We were left exhausted, surrounded by boxes, virtually no place to walk through the house. Simple things like making a meal were impossible. I ate a chocolate covered banana and went to bed.
I also didn’t think to take any time off work. While I’m my own boss so technically I don’t ask anyone, we’re busy, and I hadn’t held back my calendar so I had a full plate of work and meetings. The wifi that seemed great at a guest house wasn’t great enough for a day of Zoom meetings. I had to lean on my partner Susanne and call in.
But these are all, in the scheme of things, privileged problems. So why am I sharing them? Because ultimately they weren't just privileged problems but a privilege, period. They shook me up -- in some good ways. Here’s what I learned.
It’s good to be new to something. Ben Fischman, who was my CEO at Rue La La and is CEO at M.Gemi (I was their CD and they’re now a client) always encouraged new employees to hold onto that perspective as long as possible.) The bandaid rip of coming into a new space forced me to think clearly about things like what I really needed (more donating!) and where the best spaces would be for quiet work, calls, etc.
Your move: Brands and leaders, replicate this feeling by shopping your own site like a consumer, all the way through actual purchase, delivery and return; shifting your workspace (home or away or hybrid) and/or creating a practice of regularly moving workspaces; asking a team member outside the confines of the work to weigh in, and/or looking at silos and how to break them.
Tackle what you can when you can. I had to keep working between meetings even if it meant I only had a small window. So I’d pick off a small project, like tackling a single drawer or unpacking a single box.
Your move: Don’t wait for massive chunks of time to start a project; we don’t often get massive chunks of time. Try writing a first paragraph only. Outlining a budget roughly. Just linking in with a prospect. Etc.
When you feel blocked, move on. There were lots of hitting-a-wall moments. I thought, “I can’t do more until I get the right storage stuff” or “I’m too tired” or “I can’t do more until I get these donations out of here.” When I felt like that, I moved on to another room. And the change alone showed me what to do next. Later, when I came back to the place where I was stuck, I saw a way to un-stick myself.
Your move: Don’t sit there feeling frustrated and blocked. Drop it and pick up another project. (Or even just stop and eat something and then return.) It’s often just what you need to see something you didn’t see before.
When you don’t have it, do the easiest stuff. When I was so exhausted I didn’t think I could do another thing, I’d just open boxes and throw the tape away. Or just fold and walk boxes to the recycling bin. Sometimes it actually got my energy up, or I’d peek in a box and say “I know where that goes and I can just put it away.”
Your move: Workwise, sometimes when I feel tired, if I have a naming project, I’ll just free associate in a notebook. Not editing myself at all. In the morning, I can return to it and have the start of something. Think about something low-pressure when you’re tired or stuck. Or look for an adjustment that makes a project feel low pressure, like letting yourself do a really, really rough draft and not editing.
Just find the thing that unlocks the other things. Sometimes when I’d get stuck in my move, I’d ask myself: “What’s keeping me from what I want?” It was often a whole little path, like … I want the counter clear so I can make food. I need a place to put the stuff away. There’s a little two-drawer shelf in the garage I could use but I can’t get to it. There’s a lawn mower in front of that. What’s keeping me from getting to the lawn mower? There’s a wheel barrow in front of that…” Then I’d forget about the whole path and just move the wheelbarrow. I’d get back to the first goal (the counter) but usually find other solutions along the way.
Your move: Try to ask yourself what you want throughout the day, and rather than thinking about it holistically (overwhelming!), start with the one aspect or hurdle that will set you down the path. Allow yourself to see where that takes you.
Have you made a move recently? Did it get you thinking? We’d love to hear.
#Microgoodness: Share This Poem
This month (April 2) marks the birthday of Rodney King, the motorist brutally beaten by police in 1992.
This month (April 2) marks the birthday of Rodney King, the motorist brutally beaten by police in 1992. I’ve always loved this poem by Lucille Clifton. Proof that words can get at the authentic truths that connect all of us.
Here's a printable version we designed for friends.
Microgoodness: Share it with someone having trouble putting their feelings into words.
Yes, Yoga. (For all. For right now. For real life.)
Immaculately toned athletes with time on their hands who seem to have it all together. Sound good to you? Me either.
Immaculately toned athletes with time on their hands who seem to have it all together. Sound good to you? Me either. But the yoga I’ve come to know and love is not about sweating, “finding your edge” or saying “namaste” at the end of your practice (p.s. Please don’t do that). And even without the Westernization, it’s still yoga and is still a powerful practice with 5,000-year-old roots that is perfectly accessible whether you’re curious about Indian culture, movement practices or treating trauma.
Define the terms. Let’s start with the basics: “Yoga” is more than movement. It's important that people don't just "work out" with yoga and leave the rest. The practice is based in ancient Hindu religion so having that reverence is part of honoring (a frequently appropriated) practice even if you aren't a spiritual person. Which is why things like patriarchal themes like diet culture have no place in yoga. It’s about meeting yourself where you are, practicing non-attachment (see also: non-judgment) and being present. You could start there. The word itself means “union” or “to yoke” in Sanskrit so in that spirit, combining your awareness around ethical standards and integrity is a very practical way of bringing more yoga into your everyday life. “Asana” is the word used to reference the postures and is the part of yoga most people know. But you don’t need to be flexible or in a coordinated, overpriced athleisure set to be a “good yogi.” In fact, kneeling into a wide-legged Child’s Pose is sometimes all you need to show yourself some somatic support, and falling asleep in savasana (the final resting pose at the end of almost every yoga practice) is the biggest compliment to teachers who often spend hours planning and teaching to help students relax enough to find peace.
Start here. Anyone curious about yoga should first start by cultivating a home or studio practice in a space that feels welcoming, safe and free of selling you an experience. Yes, yoga studios are a legitimate business, but the only experience you need is that of you, on your mat, gaining an education about your mind and your body and how this awareness and mindfulness can impact the collective.
Attend to your intentions. Niyama, the second limb of yoga, is rooted in self-discipline and spirituality, but you don’t need to be especially pious to do things like practice cleanliness, find contentment, entertain self-study and so on. Maybe it’s committing to practicing a certain number of times a week and setting an intention that you will only move your body when and where it feels good. Maybe it means treating yourself with care and finding meaningful ways to establish that you are, in fact, enough. Maybe it’s exploring yoga beyond studio classes. As modern-day interpreters of a 5,000 year old practice, we have only to honor yoga’s roots and do just what feels safe in our bodies.
A few tips when practicing:
Yoga can be done anywhere: Yes, even at your desk in full view of others. Pranayama, the breathwork element of yoga, has several practices that are so subtle, not even the person next to you would detect them. Ujjayi breathing is my personal favorite.
If at any time you find yourself practicing yoga (or really, anything) and your mind is whirring, notice that and hold space for it. Sometimes simply acknowledging our emotions is enough to allow them to not hold a tight grasp on our consciousness. Sound too “woo woo”? Try it. The next time you find yourself steaming after a meeting or embarrassed by a mistake, check-in with yourself. Ask yourself what you can do to release that feeling. Sometimes it’s movement (ex. Taking a walk, showing up to class, hopping on the Peloton) but sometimes it’s practicing unattachment and simply allowing yourself to be a human being having a human experience.
There is no “right way” to do yoga. There are many different forms; play around a bit to learn what works for you. Some involve more non-stop movement like ashtanga while others are based around a sequence of poses in a heated room. Others are more gentle, focus on breathwork, and so on.
As a non-Southeast Asian practitioner of yoga, I would invite you to explore your personal relationship with yoga (or cultivate one if you haven’t yet) and make a concerted effort to also learn from teachers that don’t look like you. In the era of COVID, this last part can be tricky so I’ve included some resources below:
Finally, remember, there's a reason it’s called the practice of yoga. It takes practice.
Have questions? You can find me at @vanessainboston and teaching to Colleges of the Fenway (Emmanuel, Simmons, Wentworth, MassArt and MCPHS) students, staff, faculty and alumni on Mondays (yoga) and Wednesdays (meditation) at 6pm.